Funny Monday

MEMO to all staff:

• “A seminar on how to dress for casual day will be held at 4pm  followed by a fashion show.”

Dilbert says:

• “Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?”
• “Someday we’ll look back on all this and plough into a parked car.”
• “An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.”

Company Motivation:

• ‘Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they created it by killing everybody who opposed them.’
• ‘Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get sucked into engines.’
• ‘The beatings will continue until morale improves. Teamwork means never having to take the blame.’

The Difference between you and your boss:

• If you’re slow, he’s thorough.
• If you don’t do it, you’re lazy, if he doesn’t, he’s busy.
• If you make a mistake, you’re an idiot, if he does, he’s only human.
• If you’re off  sick, you’re always sick, if he’s off sick, he must be really ill!

Relationship breakup cards.

• As the days go by, I think about how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.
• When we were together you always said you’d die for me, now we’ve broken up it’s time you kept that promise.
• I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.

Enjoy your day!