MEMO to all staff:
- “Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?”
- “Someday we’ll look back on all this and plough into a parked car.”
- “An optimist is simply a pessimist with no job experience.”
- ‘Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings, they created it by killing everybody who opposed them.’
- ‘Eagles may soar but weasels don’t get sucked into engines.’
- ‘The beatings will continue until morale improves. Teamwork means never having to take the blame.’
The Difference between you and your boss:
- If you’re slow, he’s thorough.
- If you don’t do it, you’re lazy, if he doesn’t, he’s busy.
- If you make a mistake, you’re an idiot, if he does, he’s only human.
- If you’re off sick, you’re always sick, if he’s off sick, he must be really ill!
- As the days go by, I think about how lucky I am that you’re not here to ruin it for me.
- When we were together you always said you’d die for me, now we’ve broken up it’s time you kept that promise.
- I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re here.
Enjoy your day!