SINS OF THE MISGUIDED

crosses_on_hill

“Where exactly do these dimwits who purport to know so much about the religious sensitivities of the masses crawl from?”

What does Easter (also known as PASCH or PASCHA)  mean to you?

The arrival of spring, a long weekend, clock change or the resurrection of the Cadbury’s ‘sickly sweet’ cream egg?

Your answer is most likely going to be determined by your religious belief and not necessarily your chocolate predilection because Easter is, without a doubt,  a religious holiday that celebrates not just the crucifiction but the resurrection of one of the world’s most popular icons;  Jesus Christ. Specifically, Easter Sunday, two days after Good Friday (the day when it’s believed Jesus was nailed to a cross – crucified).

The actual date of Easter has often proved controversial with scholars throughout the centuries, some have even gone as far as proposing ‘reform’, or more specifically ‘conform’.  In the United Kingdom, the Easter Act 1928 set out legislation to allow the date of Easter to be fixed as the first Sunday after the second Saturday in April (or, in other words, the Sunday in the period from 9 to 15 April). However, the legislation has not been implemented, although it remains on the Statute book and could become adopted subject to approval by the various Christian churches.

So how are you planning on spending the Easter ‘break’: in a church,  in a vehicle, in your home in the bathtub or goggle eyed in front of the TV?

Painted Easter Eggs

Easter Eggs in a Seattle a school have been renamed Easter Spheres, for fear that their name may cause offence.

Whatever the activity, any that are remotely associated with this holiday will most likely be prefixed with the word  EASTER because, no matter how you choose to view it, that’s exactly what this holiday we’re all ‘celebrating’ is called. It isn’t  international ‘buy me a chocolate egg’ day or international ‘excuse to buy me a present’ day or international ‘egg hunt day’, it’s EASTER!   Yet, there are some out there, the misguided, the foolish who would have this ‘holiday’ name omitted from its  various associated activities for fear that the ‘religious connotations’ of EASTER might  upset parents and or children with differing religious preferences.

Really?

Where exactly do these dimwits who purport to know so much about the religious sensitivities of the masses crawl from?

Or maybe it’s me, maybe I am the one who is blinkered and should really give careful consideration to this very important and sensitive issue. Maybe the word EASTER should be removed from the phrase EGG HUNT  then we could hunt eggs all year round without having to wait but once a year.

What say you?

I can only hope that those spouting such nonsense are ignorant to the real meaning of the EASTER egg. For the few, I shall humbly attempt enlightenment.  In Christianity (clue in the word), the Easter egg is believed to symbolise the tomb of  Christ. The stone like shell being the vessel from which life is birthed or, more specifically, the life of a chick.  For Christians, it’s a reminder that Jesus Christ arose from the grave and that he, and by association them, is eternal.  Early Christians would stain eggs red in memory of the blood of Christ shed at his crucifixion which, not surprisingly, took place during the Christian celebration of EASTER. Although egg decoration in celebration of life is also known to have been practiced by ancient Sumerians and Egyptians. The church adopted the egg as a symbol of resurrection many years later. This ancient tradition has transcended time to become the commercialised confectionery and accessories we see piled high in supermarkets around the world today.

David Cameron once said, “The UK is a Christian country and we should not be afraid to say so”. He added,  “live and let live” had all too often become “do as you please” and that it’s wrong to suggest that standing up for Christianity was “somehow doing down other faiths”.

There’s no doubt that many in this country do not have a religion but this is no reason why those Christians who wish to practice theirs should have it interfered with by misguided fools.  The Easter Egg hunt was born out of the  Christian celebration of Easter and, as such, should not be interfered with by politically incorrect job-worths. The worse thing about this is that these people tend to work in schools where I, clearly wrongly, believed they were charged with the responsibility to teach about the world and its history.

Only this week, an inspector who’d normally leave the rest of us shaking our heads with incredulity was himself left flabbergasted when a London school proposed banning triangular shaped flapjacks. The reason; a pupil was injured when a ‘slice ‘ of flapjack was thrown at him by one of his peers. The health and safety representative actually called for the prevailing of common sense, highlighting the fact that the problem was not with the shape of the flapjack but with the moron who lobbed his food at his classmate!

What is wrong with these idiots? Are they so blinded by the terror of litigation that they’re no longer capable of seeing the big fat fact in the room before them?

Alas, this is not a  problem restricted to those in the teaching profession, far from it.

The BBC has dropped the term BC (Before Christ) favouring instead BE (Before Era) as

Flapjack

An English school has banned triangle shaped flapjacks are one was thrown at a pupil.

more ‘appropriate’. Nationally, ‘Spotted Dick’, a classic English dessert, has been renamed to avoid embarrassment. The traditional pudding has been rechristened (there’s that religious connotation again) Spotted Richard, after UK council bosses feared the original name might cause offence. Another English council, sensitive to the plight of the few, has banned the term ‘brainstorming’ – and replaced it with ‘thought showers’? Really? As local lawmakers thought the term may offend epileptics. Although this is nothing when compared to a recruiter who was stunned when her job advert for ‘reliable’ and ‘hard-working’ applicants was rejected by the job centre as it could be offensive to unreliable and lazy people!

But don’t think it’s just us Brits that have gone all politically mad!

In 2007, Santa Clauses in Sydney, Australia, were banned from saying ‘Ho Ho Ho’. Their employer, the recruitment firm Westaff (that supplies hundreds of Santas across Australia), allegedly told all trainees that ‘ho ho ho’ could frighten children, and be derogatory to women. Why?  Because ‘Ho Ho Ho’ is too close to the American (not Australian, mind you) slang for prostitute.  Whilst some  U.S. schools now have a ‘holiday tree’ at Christmas, rather than a CHRISTMAS tree. A Seattle school has renamed Easter Eggs to  ‘Spring Spheres’ for fear of causing offence, whilst several councils and organisation are believed to have dropped any terms using the word ‘man’ as a prefix or suffix as its believed to be ‘politically incorrect’.  As a result the beloved MANHOLE is now referred to as a UTILITY or MAINTENANCE HOLE.

You couldn’t make it up.

I could veer off onto a whole new road with this topic but, alas, it is something that you have heard about many times before so I’ll spare you.

It has been said that many of us Brits are  proud of our multiculturalism and diversity, it has been that way for many years and it is something that is cherished by many but there does come a time when  common sense must prevail and careful consideration must be given not just to our agenda to remain a society that embraces diversity but also to  our need to preserve  incumbent fundamental icons and or practices that are indicative of our heritage, spotted DICK being one of them!

Last I checked, we were a democratic society which means equal rights, and whilst pandering to the minority could be construed as preserving such a democracy it clearly is not.  Governments are elected by a majority (and when that doesn’t exist it’s borrowed). Likewise, the right of the many should not be diluted in favour of the few.

I’m off now to hunt for some EASTER eggs right after watching the PASSION OF THE CHRIST which some may groan may not be a laugh a minute but it is nonetheless indicative of what this holiday of Easter is all about.

In the meantime, I’m going to leave you with an amusing tale I came across a few years ago. It never fails to make me smile and it’s one to which many of us can relate.

Have a peaceful EASTER. 🙂

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:         All Employees

DATE:    October 01, 2003

RE:       Gala Christmas Party

 

 I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 pm. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

 Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty

  ============================================================================

FROM:    Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:        All Employees

DATE:    October 02, 2003

RE:       Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that  Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our “Holiday Party.” The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.

There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty

 ============================================================================

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:      All Employees

DATE:   October 03, 2003

RE:       Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table ..

You didn’t sign your name.

I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, “AA Only”; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts are allowed since the  union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

 =================================================== =========================

FROM:  Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To:        All Employees

DATE:   October 04, 2003

RE:        Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to t ake it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms.  Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food.  The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh “low sugar” fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply “No Sugar”   desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

 ============================================================================

FROM:   Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO:         All F#$&*ng Employees

DATE:    October  05, 2003

RE:         The F*%#ing Holiday Party

I’ve had it with you vegetarian p**cks! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death,” as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your fu&*^%g salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you fu@*&ng weirdos can kiss my *ss.  I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

 Drive drunk and die,

The B* from HE*^!!!!!!!!

 ============================================================================

FROM:  Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE:   October  06, 2003

RE:       Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

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